Wednesday, 26 December 2012

A Hand in Need

I was travelling way way too much this few weeks. Up and down KL-JB-KL-JB several times in a week. It is almost like I am working in JB and living in KL. This of course took a toll on the body - dem bloody sleepy whenever I was on the road.

There was one day when I was totally exhausted. I bought a couple of Redbull at my usual R&R. The last and only time I ever take a redbull is when erm... SPM or STPM time. To cramp 2 years worth of 'learning' into that few hours I have.
So there I was, with my redbull, ready to get on the road again that night. When suddenly, "knock knock" and I looked, an Indian guy was knocking on my passenger window. I slide it open a lil to hear what he had to say.

He was explaining about his misfortune of his faulty ATM card, and he was on his way to see his ailing father, and how he is short of fund. He also explained that his family (inside the car, Exora) havent have any proper meal for days. I took a short glance and can see that there were 4-5 teenagers in the car waiting anxiously for their father's return. I also concluded that for him to be asking for money in an R&R, it is not your usual scam, but a case of pure emergency.
It also ran through my mind that he should have planned properly, and obtain his fund way before getting on a highway - which requires fuel and toll. While I can deduce all I want, it cannot escape my mind that it is still a pure emergency and sad case that can happen to anyone, including myself.

I planned to hand him a few red dollar bills. At least he can fill up some petrol. But as I scanned through my wallet, there was no red dollar bill. Plenty of 50s, and spare change of 9 bucks. I gave him all of my 5's and 1's; which is 9 bucks. I knew it will not be enough. But the devil in me didnt want to pull out a 50. A battle of conscience took place and the devil still won.
The guy said it was not enough, and he requires a 50. 30 for petrol and 20 for food he said. In my mind and heart, I said I know. At my mouth, I say I only have this much to offer. After a few minutes of pleading from him; he walked back to his car; and I continued my journey.

Remember I said I was very very very exhausted? I was ready to sleep n drive before the stop. But after that incident; guilt couldnt escape from my mind. I could've help the poor guy. I could've been a good Samaritan
Tears actually almost burst out. Yes he might be a scammer. But he wont resort to this if he was not stranded at the R&R. I could've pulled him out of that situation.
I couldn't stop blaming myself. For my selfishness.
What is the use of driving a comfortable car if you cant even help a person in need?
What is the use of dining in a nice restaurant if you cant even feed a person in hunger?
What is the use of living in a luxurious house if you cant even shelter a person in cold?
I know I cant help everybody. But cant I help a person who approached me?
I couldnt sleep however exhausted I was.
I couldnt stop thinking........what am I....why am I here? Am I...heartless.